Authored by Leila Howard and Devana Weiss, RCC-ACS Feeling Responsible for Everyone’s Emotions - And How It Begins to Change Do you often feel like it’s your job to keep everyone around you emotionally okay? Feeling guilty when someone is upset, anxious when tension rises, or responsible for smoothing things over? When relationships become emotionally intense, many people instinctively begin to track and manage how others are feeling. It can look like comforting quickly, fixi

Authored by Leila Howard and Devana Weiss, RCC-ACS Emotional Regulation: Why It's Harder in Some Relationships Than Others Emotional regulation — the ability to manage what you feel without being overwhelmed by it or shutting down completely — is often treated as a personal skill. Something you either have or need to develop. And while there are genuinely useful things a person can learn and practise, this framing misses something important: how well we regulate our emotions

Authored by Leila Howard and Devana Weiss, RCC-ACS Triangulation in Relationships: Why We Bring Others Into Tension—and What Changes When We Stop When things get tense between two people, a third person often becomes involved. Someone to vent to, someone to help make sense of things, someone to smooth things over. It often brings short-term relief. But over time, it can keep the underlying tension from being worked through directly. This pattern—often called triangulation (pu

Authored by Leila Howard and Devana Weiss, RCC-ACS People Pleasing and Anxiety: A Bowen Family Systems Perspective Do you find yourself saying yes when you mean no? Apologizing when you’ve done nothing wrong? Feeling responsible for everyone’s comfort in the room — except your own? If so, you’re not alone. People pleasing is a common pattern we see in counselling — and it can be exhausting. It often coexists with anxiety, chronic stress, and a quiet sense of losing yourself i

Authored by Leila Howard and Devana Weiss, RCC-ACS Understanding Family Roles: A Bowen Family Systems Perspective Families are complex emotional systems. They naturally find ways to adapt to stress, expectations, and relationships. Over time, these responses can become familiar patterns that shape how individuals interact with one another. These patterns may be more subtle in some families and more active in other families, depending on many factors that influence individual

Authored by Leila Howard and Devana Weiss, RCC-ACS Overview of Bowen Family Systems Theory Bowen Family Systems Theory is a thoughtful, objective way of understanding how we humans function in our closest relationships—especially within families. Dr. Murry Bowen began developing his theory in the 1950s and published prolifically through the 1970s and 80s. The theory has continued to evolve. It views the family as an emotional unit rather than just a group of separate individu

Authored by Leila Howard and Devana Weiss, RCC-ACS Understanding Trauma Through Relationships: A Family Systems Perspective Trauma—whether from abuse, loss, neglect, violence, chronic stress, or other overwhelming experiences—can deeply affect how safe we feel in our bodies, how we trust the world, and how we connect with others. Many effective trauma therapies focus on rebuilding that inner safety, grounding in the present, and reclaiming control over your own experience. A

Authored by Leila Howard and Devana Weiss, RCC-ACS Family of Origin Work: A Bowen Family Systems Approach in BC Have you ever noticed certain patterns — like people-pleasing, shutting down during conflict, over-functioning in relationships, or feeling easily triggered by family — seem to repeat themselves no matter how much insight you have? Family of origin work is a structured coaching process that helps you understand how your early family experiences shaped the way you th

Authored by Leila Howard and Devana Weiss, RCC-ACS Couples Therapy & Couples Counselling: Lasting Change with a Bowen Family Systems Approach Are endless arguments, emotional distance, or constant tension in your relationship leaving you feeling drained? You're not alone. At SteadyCore Counselling, our Bowen Family Systems approach to couples therapy can help partners understand and shift stuck patterns, fostering a deeper, more resilient connection that lasts. Why Couples Ge

Authored by Leila Howard and Devana Weiss, RCC-ACS How Family Patterns Influence Anxiety: A Bowen Family Systems Perspective Anxiety is a common human experience—and it doesn’t develop in isolation. From a Bowen Family Systems perspective, anxiety is shaped not only by what’s happening inside us, but also by the relationships and family patterns we are part of. Rather than asking, “What’s wrong with me?” this approach invites a gentler, more spacious question: “What might be